Porn is love you can see.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
be right there i have to get my cape
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
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