OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
