ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
