RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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