You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Randomize
