So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
