I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
