I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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