Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
