P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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