I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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