I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
