he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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