Jerry, you need to find god
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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