She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
