My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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