I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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