forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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