If i come over, it means nothing
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
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