i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
