Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
