There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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