we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
