sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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