Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
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