It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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