Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Randomize
