The maid of honor just puked.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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