It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Randomize
