Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
