but the lizard people decide everything anyway
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
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