Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Randomize
