I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
thanks for leaving the note with the doctor's recommendations for my lip, they are dissolvable stitches right?
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Randomize
