I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
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