i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Just cropdusted the office
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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