are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
Randomize
