new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Randomize
