I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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