I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
The only bad thing about this relationship... my forearm strength is dwindling
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
