their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
You're completely useless in the revolution.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize