I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
