The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
