This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
