I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
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