You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
