This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Every pair of shorts I try on makes me look like some kind of powerful lesbian wizard.
That is like, the point of shorts
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize