still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Randomize
