Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
