Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
