so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
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