she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
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