I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Randomize
