and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Randomize