Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
