i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
