I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
