Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Randomize
