'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Randomize
